I'm not a very daring person. Even if I'm not the first one to step out of the boat, I like to be where things are "happening". I must admit, I love Holy Ghost goosebumps. I like experiencing the manifestations of God's power first hand. Maybe I'm not the one that starts the activity but I sure like being on the edge of excitement.
Today God was teaching me about my fear of missing out. I had no idea how much of an issue it is for me. When I hear about what the Holy Spirit is doing in my absence, I feel like I totally missed out. Down deep in my flesh, I'm sorry to say, I actually get a bit resentful and jealous because others got to experience something with the Lord that I didn't. My face may look smiley but when I hear the words, "You missed a great service!", my heart sinks. (Isn't it amazing that the services you miss are always the great ones?)
Today I had a choice to make. On the calendar, there are two meetings scheduled for the same time 15 miles apart. One meeting is guaranteed to be full of revelation and Holy Ghost goosebumps. The other is most likely to be mundane and possibly even boring. Of course, I chose the prayer meeting. I had told people I would be there and I was all excited to go. Last night, the Lord woke me up and impressed on my heart that I needed to go to the other meeting. I tried to ignore Him, pray His urging away, and even sleep through it. Nothing worked. So today I was inwardly moping, thinking about all I would miss by begrudgingly obeying the Lord.
My attitude changed abruptly during prayer time this morning. I was praying for heaven and earth to move, yet I didn't allow God to move me! The Holy Spirit asked, "Do you really mean your prayers for My will to be done when you are more interested in satisfying your fleshly need for goosebumps than in obeying?" Of course, I was undone.
God has a bigger plan than I can imagine. He gave me the opportunity to be part of His plan. He said, "What if I want to attend the meeting through you?" Wow! I can't think of a bigger blessing than that. For the love of the flesh, I nearly missed out on the truly good stuff.
Lord, today I thank you for your loving-kindness and patience towards me. My fear is gone and I'm not missing a thing!
Wow this is great! I have a hard time doing what God has called me to do but for different reasons. I will keep this in mind when I have to do something that doesn't seem pleasant, I bring the Holy Spirit with me everywhere I go :)
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